Hey blog world. It isn't Thursday and I know I haven't been around things have been sort of blah lately. It seems silly how one little change in your life can just set you back. I haven't wanted to write or do any projects. I wanted to do this blog to try to put myself out there. Try to boost my confidence. I knew it wasn't going to happen overnight but I had hoped for something a little more I guess. I am not giving up! I will be back but I want to focus on projects I really want to do. Not projects to just fill a post.
About a month ago I lost my dog. She had a tumor and she was old. 15 years old.
I had her from the second she was born. and now she is gone. It hurts a lot more than I thought it would. I still find myself looking for her and crying when I know she isn't there. I know that sounds really stupid to some. But to a lot of people I know they understand. She was my writing buddy. That's why its been so hard to sit down and write.
You see I recently put myself out there, Had some one else read my book. It wasn't anything "official" But it was my first time getting criticism from some one else besides my mom. It was a hard thing for me to do. I got decent feedback. The author was really kind and professional. But with the criticism comes the "work." And I don't know how to fix it. This would be the part where my dog would be helpful. Whenever I sat at my desk she would sit right by my feet right where it would have been to much work for me to get up and do something else. I don't know if she did that on purpose but it worked. Or if she wasn't in the same room as me she would periodically come check on me to make sure I was where I was supposed to be.
I am at the part of the sadness where I don't know what I am supposed to do anymore. I don't "Feel" like doing anything productive. I need to snap out of it. Its just harder than I thought it would be.
I am sorry this post is sappy and pathetic and a million other weak things. But I look at this way. I rarely have anyone look at my posts anyways. What difference would it make.
I hope that I can get inspired to do something again soon.
Sharing my projects did make me happy...sometimes.
Writing made me happy to.
Editing however. not so much.
So I hope you all understand....all 7 of you. And I hope you are all doing well.
I will see you when I see ya.
